You really coming over, don't trick.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
