where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
