Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
