He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
