My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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