So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
