this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
