Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
