I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
