there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
