i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
