evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
