She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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