i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
