I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
