but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i've created a new STD.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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