We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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