Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
