To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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