did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
