i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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