I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
