belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
