Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
honey bunches of taint.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
being pregnant is like rehab
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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