well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
