Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
