do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
