I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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