okay pat passed out under dana's car
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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