did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
