Please, let me fuck your mom
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
