yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
