There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and i looked up. we had an audience...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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