People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
