Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize