laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
