ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
where are my eyebrows?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
