Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
