I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
FUCK WHALES
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
