I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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