I want to walk on stilts...naked
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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