Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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