Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just had sex on a roof
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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