Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
