You work out of a Hotel?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
