Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How external is "for external use only"?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
