I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
