just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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