David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
