Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
