we have officially lost it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
