I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
