My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
someone owes me an orgasm
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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