As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
