Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
false alarm, still single
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
