Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
