This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
